You Might Be An Addict If …

In May 10, 2012, I wrote and posted a blog titled “You Might Be a Knitting/Crocheting Addict If …”  As bloggers read the post, they generously added several other, hmmm, indications of addiction. 🙂   I took what I originally wrote and added several others’ contributions and put them into one document.

You might be a knitting/crocheting addict if …

You’re in the car riding shotgun and the driver says, “Quick – look at the map! Do we need to take the next exit?”

… and you say: “Just a minute. I’m almost done with the row.”

You are (or your partner is) in labor and en route to the hospital,

… and you dash back home to grab a project so you can knit/crochet in between contractions.

You knit/crochet while you walk,

… which explains both why your shins have bruises (from walking into fire hydrants), and how you broke your nose on a shop door.

You buy buttons, clasps and shawl pins and

then design projects to show them off.

You have a deal with your sweetie that before you bring a new loom or spinning wheel into the house,

… you have to get rid of one you already have.

You buy yarn or fiber you don’t need,

knowing you will undoubtedly be able to find a use for it later.

You begin to snuggle under the covers next to your drowsy sweetheart, and

… then your knitting/crocheting on the nightstand catches your eye and you reach for it instead of your sweetie.

You buy wooden or plastic needles,

… because members of your family have complained hear you clicking in darkened theaters.

No one in your family believes your protests that

… you can safely knit when stuck in traffic.

On a family cross-country trip,

… you regularly Google or Yelp fiber stores to visit in the towns along the way.

As momentos of your vacation,

you have several photographs of you standing in front of newly discoveed yarn shops.

You buy yarn whose color you dislike,

… because you know you can overdye it.

You’re the only one in your backpacking group who

… makes room in your pack for yarn & hook/needles by leaving the chocolate behind.

Spotting any knitter or crocheter as you walk nearby,

… you stop and chat about knitting or crocheting.

At a theater, after the lights go out and the movie starts playing, you reach into your tote and

… and pull out a partially completed project and start knitting or crocheting.

When you hear about celebrities knitting or crocheting,

you are not impressed! You just worked with knitting and crocheting stars at Stitches East or Stitches West!

You take your sock knitting camping and when you find you’ve lost a needle,

… you find a twig of the appropriate size and spend the next hour trimming and smoothing it to use.

Preparing for a trip to another continent (or even another city),

… you pack two projects and a complete set of needles or hooks “just in case.”

When selecting a purse,

you choose the one you like less because it is a better size for your knitting or crocheting.

When your honey comes to bed,

… s/he first shakes the sheets, covers and/or pillows to find any hooks or needles before getting stabbed by them.

In a good faith effort to organize your stash, you discover yarn you purchased 10 years ago

… and realize you don’t remember ever buying it.

While knitting or crocheting in your favorite armchair,

you have fallen asleep but kept on knitting or crocheting.

You have two sets of pots and wooden spoons in the kitchen:

… one for food preparation and the other for dying yarns.

You not only downloaded Melanie Gall’s CD Knitting All the Day,

… but learned the words so you can sing along!

When you fill out a match.com or eharmony.com application,

you disclose that you’d like to meet someone who is into textile art.

For your birthday last year, even though you’re not a spelunker,

your honey surprises you with a headlamp to use to knit or crochet by in bed – and you are thrilled!

On your cell phone you have a voice-activated recording that plays,

…. (1) Can’t talk now.  I’m counting stitches!
…  (2) Just let me finish this row!

Your children wait patiently for you to finish a row,

… before telling you they tell you they broke a window.

At night when everyone in your house is asleep,

… you knit or crochet by the light on the computer screen because you do not want to turn on the lights and wake others up.

Stuck in the car at a train crossing,

… you reach for your tote and pull out a project to work on while waiting for the train.

You are in the dental chair,

… and your hands reach for your tote and pull out a project.

While waiting for your computer to load,

… you pick up your work-in-progress and start crocheting or knitting.

Your honey can track where you’ve been in the house,

… by the trail of threads and yarn you’ve left.

You’re getting ready for a flight,

… and to be on the safe side, you buy a complete set of hooks or needles in plastic.

Your sweetie is not surprised to open a bag in the freezer,

… and find raw fiber AND knows you put it in the freezer to kill larvae.

You take a trip that is longer than a week, and

… you have an extra suitcase for yarn and related equipment – with room to spare for new yarn and related equipment.

Your sweetie thinks you are being amorous and you haven’t the heart to tell him/her that

… you had dropped a hook or needle and were groping for it.

When you knit or crochet,

you prop up a book to read simultaneously.

Asked to describe your version of hell, you explain it would be

… yarn but no hooks or needles, or
… hooks or needles, but no yarn.

(Thanks to sparklessness) You proudly wear a bracelet on which is inscribed

I knit so you get to live.

And, of course, you may be an addict if

… you have trouble understanding why not everyone loves it too.

39 Responses to You Might Be An Addict If …

  1. Hello Alexzandra … I too like my knitting addiction. :). Nice to meet you, and thank you for the kind words.

    Like

  2. Hello, my name is Alexzandra, and I am an addict.

    I have been an addict for almost 30 years. I have no plans of getting better. Thank you for your support.

    Lol, I just thought I would introduce myself in a manner that would be fitting to an addict. I love knitting and your blog is a joy to read. This one in particular made me laugh.

    Thank you.

    Like

  3. Thank you for dropping by!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. CurvyLou says:

    Hee hee! I relate to SO many items on this list. So glad I came by to visit, and thank you for following my blog. Now, I’m going to go and look about some more!
    curvylou

    Like

  5. BonMinou says:

    Well, of course!

    Like

  6. And maybe drool with envy a little … 🙂 >

    Like

  7. BonMinou says:

    LOL! Well, they can just sit next to us and bask.

    Like

  8. I feel a bit sad for people who don’t knit! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. BonMinou says:

    Thanks for visiting and liking my blog! I had to visit someone called the Sweaty Knitter…cute blog, very funny! (I am a knitter, too!)

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I grinned widely as I read these! Thank you … I’ll add them to the (ever-growing) list!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Captain Hook says:

    When you see a photo of a crocheted project in a magazine or online,

    …you not only analyze it to create yourself, you point out all the places you would have done this or that detail differently AND in a different yarn.

    You hesitate to practice for your next archery tournament,

    …because the calluses on your fingers interfere with yarn flow.

    The hottest thing your honey can say to you is,

    …”This sock yarn is a great price, but lacks the loft of Opal and will probably felt or lack dimensional stability, don’t you think?”

    The second hottest thing your honey can say to you is,

    …”We ended up the month with $100 extra. I can add it to this month’s savings…or if you want, you can spend it on the stash.”

    Your main reason for going to IKEA is

    …coming up with ideas to hack the various storage units into custom stash organizers.

    Your six-foot-six, 265-pound, tattooed, leather-wearing, kilted baritone engineer bear of a husband

    …is so thrilled by his new striped Regia rainbow socks that he not only wears them proudly with his black SWAT boots, he shows them to his guy friends at the gun club in a way that makes them want some too…again underscoring that you truly found the right man to share your life with for keeps.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Chela says:

    I think I have a serious problem… LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Pingback: You might be an addict if… | Stitch by Stitch It's a Cinch

  14. Pingback: You Might Be An Addict If … | Orion Realty LLC

  15. Lori says:

    I am an addict. Thanks for the laugh. Reblogging now!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. HaHa that made me laugh out loud! One time I settled down to knit in a meeting I knew would go on forever and (wait for it) (sob) I ONLY HAD ONE KNITTING NEEDLE! LOL!
    I am an enthusiast not an addict. Yes denial, a sure sign.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Yes, work can be quite a distraction!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Erin says:

    When class starts and you reach not for your pen and paper, but for your hooks/needles and yarn… and you’ve chosen an “easy” lace project!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Sheila Grapes says:

    You sometimes just look at all your yarn stash and dream at what you could do with it all if only you had the time (doesn’t work just get in the way…)

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Ummm, what’s not to be proud of (said one addict to another)!!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Oh dear … “Decreasing” your nails? :). LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Hmmm … “sorta an addict” is like being “sorta pregnant”: you either are or you aren’t! :). So I am guessing you are one of us … There are lots of us and are numbers are growing! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Wait until you walk into a glass door while crocheting …. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  24. bekkapoo says:

    Hi Karen! Thanks for the warm welcome. 🙂 From one addict to another this was a great post and I see myself in soooo many of these points. I recently realized I could walk and crochet, so I’m looking forward to receiving my badges of honor (aka bruises and bumps).

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Lol…this is too funny! I guess I sorta kinda am an addict. Hahaha!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Hm, knitting may have got my head. I just found myself saying that I’ve decreased my nails. I think most people would say ‘cut’! Oh dear. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  27. As you should be! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  28. tifoli says:

    Hello my name is Geen. I am an addict…AND PROUD OF IT!

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Ouch – I have gone mobile via Apple technology and so am careful to keep pointy things away from my iPhone and iPad … that said, my grandchildren play games on them regularly!

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Ooh, headlamp, what a great idea! Also when a relative proudly passes you their new touch screen mobile, you start poking it with whatever you have conveniently at hand – always a knitting needle. Much to their displeasure. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Ahhh, our numbers grow! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  32. jillbware says:

    Ummm, yes…to all of the above 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  33. I knit in the heat too – though I have to be careful if the yarn is something delicate and feltable … 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  34. I stumbled across the CD – never before heard of it either! I’m glad you like my blog. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  35. Yes, this is my life. I had never heard of the CD, but I have already downloaded it after reading about it, and plan to use it as my new knitting theme. I love your blog! Keep up the great work!

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Hanne says:

    This is funny 🙂 And I am sure I do at least 2/3 of these 🙂 And yes, I second that, the knitting (and crochet) obsessions gets worse with age. A lot worse! I live in Arizona, and I knit or crochet by the pool, in 110 degree weather…… 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  37. I am glad you laughed … I laughed while writing it! By the way, the knitting obsessions get worse with age. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Michelle says:

    This.Is.Hilarious!!!!! omg even though im young i do like, half of these! i love knitting and i would never not be with it.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s