In May 10, 2012, I wrote and posted a blog titled “You Might Be a Knitting/Crocheting Addict If …” As bloggers read the post, they generously added several other, hmmm, indications of addiction. 🙂 I took what I originally wrote and added several others’ contributions and put them into one document.
You might be a knitting/crocheting addict if …
You’re in the car riding shotgun and the driver says, “Quick – look at the map! Do we need to take the next exit?”
… and you say: “Just a minute. I’m almost done with the row.”
You are (or your partner is) in labor and en route to the hospital,
… and you dash back home to grab a project so you can knit/crochet in between contractions.
You knit/crochet while you walk,
… which explains both why your shins have bruises (from walking into fire hydrants), and how you broke your nose on a shop door.
You buy buttons, clasps and shawl pins and
… then design projects to show them off.
You have a deal with your sweetie that before you bring a new loom or spinning wheel into the house,
… you have to get rid of one you already have.
You buy yarn or fiber you don’t need,
… knowing you will undoubtedly be able to find a use for it later.
You begin to snuggle under the covers next to your drowsy sweetheart, and
… then your knitting/crocheting on the nightstand catches your eye and you reach for it instead of your sweetie.
You buy wooden or plastic needles,
… because members of your family have complained hear you clicking in darkened theaters.
No one in your family believes your protests that
… you can safely knit when stuck in traffic.
On a family cross-country trip,
… you regularly Google or Yelp fiber stores to visit in the towns along the way.
As momentos of your vacation,
… you have several photographs of you standing in front of newly discoveed yarn shops.
You buy yarn whose color you dislike,
… because you know you can overdye it.
You’re the only one in your backpacking group who
… makes room in your pack for yarn & hook/needles by leaving the chocolate behind.
Spotting any knitter or crocheter as you walk nearby,
… you stop and chat about knitting or crocheting.
At a theater, after the lights go out and the movie starts playing, you reach into your tote and
… and pull out a partially completed project and start knitting or crocheting.
When you hear about celebrities knitting or crocheting,
… you are not impressed! You just worked with knitting and crocheting stars at Stitches East or Stitches West!
You take your sock knitting camping and when you find you’ve lost a needle,
… you find a twig of the appropriate size and spend the next hour trimming and smoothing it to use.
Preparing for a trip to another continent (or even another city),
… you pack two projects and a complete set of needles or hooks “just in case.”
When selecting a purse,
… you choose the one you like less because it is a better size for your knitting or crocheting.
When your honey comes to bed,
… s/he first shakes the sheets, covers and/or pillows to find any hooks or needles before getting stabbed by them.
In a good faith effort to organize your stash, you discover yarn you purchased 10 years ago
… and realize you don’t remember ever buying it.
While knitting or crocheting in your favorite armchair,
… you have fallen asleep but kept on knitting or crocheting.
You have two sets of pots and wooden spoons in the kitchen:
… one for food preparation and the other for dying yarns.
You not only downloaded Melanie Gall’s CD Knitting All the Day,
… but learned the words so you can sing along!
When you fill out a match.com or eharmony.com application,
… you disclose that you’d like to meet someone who is into textile art.
For your birthday last year, even though you’re not a spelunker,
… your honey surprises you with a headlamp to use to knit or crochet by in bed – and you are thrilled!
On your cell phone you have a voice-activated recording that plays,
…. (1) Can’t talk now. I’m counting stitches!
… (2) Just let me finish this row!
Your children wait patiently for you to finish a row,
… before telling you they tell you they broke a window.
At night when everyone in your house is asleep,
… you knit or crochet by the light on the computer screen because you do not want to turn on the lights and wake others up.
Stuck in the car at a train crossing,
… you reach for your tote and pull out a project to work on while waiting for the train.
You are in the dental chair,
… and your hands reach for your tote and pull out a project.
While waiting for your computer to load,
… you pick up your work-in-progress and start crocheting or knitting.
Your honey can track where you’ve been in the house,
… by the trail of threads and yarn you’ve left.
You’re getting ready for a flight,
… and to be on the safe side, you buy a complete set of hooks or needles in plastic.
Your sweetie is not surprised to open a bag in the freezer,
… and find raw fiber AND knows you put it in the freezer to kill larvae.
You take a trip that is longer than a week, and
… you have an extra suitcase for yarn and related equipment – with room to spare for new yarn and related equipment.
Your sweetie thinks you are being amorous and you haven’t the heart to tell him/her that
… you had dropped a hook or needle and were groping for it.
When you knit or crochet,
… you prop up a book to read simultaneously.
Asked to describe your version of hell, you explain it would be
… yarn but no hooks or needles, or
… hooks or needles, but no yarn.
(Thanks to sparklessness) You proudly wear a bracelet on which is inscribed
… I knit so you get to live.
And, of course, you may be an addict if
… you have trouble understanding why not everyone loves it too.